Monday, January 17, 2005

Co(w)lleagues

There was a team meet with Wussy early this morning and oh, it was a complete waste of (my) time. And for everybody else too I assume, since nobody muttered a single word when asked for feedback. Wussy hunches like a ... well, wuss and talks like a ... well, wuss. For a fairly important figure, Wussy's a real embarrassment in public gatherings, I was told.

Trumpet obviously tried to impress Wussy with some incessant rattle but realised that nobody actually paid any attention to her in the end. Bah!

+++++

Trumpet annoys me with her hand gestures when she talks. She irritates me with her raucous voice, my poor ears. Her pompous attitude nettles everybody.

"Do you have that sense of respect for her?" MoodyWierdo whispered to me, hands up in the air, clearly exasperated with Trumpet in the meeting. "You know, that kind where you will treat people with...err, you know...with respect?" she continued in her peevish little whisper. "No, I don't!" I snapped, obviously not afraid to express it.

- And last Friday -
I was happily chatting with Turquoise when Trumpet just walked up beside me and bellowed at my ears.

Trumpet: HEY, you know, bla bla bla

*Turquoise and I went silent and stared intently at her*

Trumpet: Oh..err..*hur hur* Can I speak to you now or am I interrupting?

You moron! Of course you were interrupting. Can't you see that we were talking?

Primrose: Well, do I have a choice? Of course I'll have to speak to you now that you are here?

Trumpet: Oh, no, no! You can go ahead while I stand around and look at the cupboards yada yada yada

Primrose: Oh, really? You would? For how long? *annoyed* Nah, will talk to Turquoise later. What's up?

After Trumpet left, Turquoise turned to me and said "eh, don't do this too often. Better watch your own back and protect your own ass. I see this is not the first time you snap at her".

But that is how Trumpet makes people react to her - sarcastically. Tactlessly. Crude.

+++++

MoodyWierdo can stare at the computer screen for the whole farking day and not speak a word to anybody. No "hello" when she arrives to work. No "bye" when she stands to leave. No smile. No small talk. Just fingers deftly typing whole day long with inexpressive eyes. She has got moods and it's rarely cheerful. She's intimidating and scary. And silent people are the ones that you have to be most aware of.

Bionic is a mega busybody with Shrek's large ears. So be careful even when you gossip in whispers, even.

Pontianak is quiet, only squeaks and doesn't comb her hair. Once, it was so unkempt I got a shock of my life when I thought there was a lifeless pontianak (malay ghost) right before my eyes! I'm speaking from experience, man!

There's Soi who pronounces words like do/go/home/so/no/note/don't and a myriad of other words with the vowel "o" in between as doi/goi/hoime/soi/noi/noite/doin't. Want toi knoi why? She claimed that she goit used toi it while she was in Australia. And how loing was she there? Oine year! *hits forehead* *piang* [...??] Oh, puhlease, doin't insult the Aussies!

We've got Fanny who loves to butter up other people's asses to gain favours in return. There's Saggy Bum, literally, who thinks she's a beauty queen strutting her stuff. There's Shh Shh Boy who when whispers, one obviously can't hear him (I don't know if Bionic does) but you will never miss the "s"-es, even from 20 feet away. It goes like: whisper whisper SSSSS whisper babble SSSSS whisper gossip SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. There's Baldy, there's StainTeeth, there's BlurEye, there's PursedLip, there's ToothpickHole!

+++++

I logged onto our intranet today and guess what the article on the main page was about? It was about our organisation being the friendliest gay employer one can encounter. Now why am I not surprised!?

A melting pot of irritants. Such great catalyst they are.

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