Pee standing

Yes, by thrusting forward your little, err, pussy ninny to urinate in a straight line like how men do it with their god-given "equipment". Well, I am proud to say that I have at least tried doing that. At the age of 7, I took up a dare by another 7-year-old boy (by the name of Nicholas) to immitate how he urinates but as guessed, it was not a successful, clean act to pee standing. Not without pee trickling down my thighs. Things kids would try doing those days, eh?

How many of you ladies out there would actually sit on a public toilet seat? Really. Honestly. Well, I don't. Or at least I try not to. I couldn't remember when but I was taught to either choose a squat toilet or to wipe the toilet seat before sitting or put strips of toilet paper on the seat or simply do the infamous "Stance" or "chat-ma" in Cantonese, a balancing act where no flesh from the belly button downwards touches any parts of the toilet, seat or bowl.

Sure, squat toilets are available practically at any public toilet areas in Malaysia but what if there is none? Sure, you can wipe the toilet seat clean with your tissues but how effective are tissues as disinfectant? Sure, lining the toilet seat with tissue paper is the most common but what if there are no tissues provided? So what do you do as a last resort? "The Stance"!

Not all women can do "The Stance", or at least, not without frequent practise. But even after you have mastered the skill, tell me you have NOT come across toilets that are too high for "The Stance" low enough to keep your urine in a streamline without risking spurts someplace else undesirable (like onto your thighs or your jeans or your panties). Tell me you have NOT experienced wearing some skirts too tight you can't open your legs wide enough for a complete "Stance" for being afraid you might rip your precious piece of clothing or break the zipper. Tell me you have NOT experienced the thigh shake for "Stance"-ing too long because of a full bladder. Yes, your thighs will start to tremble and quiver and you proceed to force pee from within your bladder, willing it to empty before the urge to plop your big bare bum onto the germ-filled, microorganism-infested toilet seat hits. Argghh!!

Well, ladies! Fear no more. Introducing the "HER URINAL". Imagine being able to pee standing and using the men's toilets as well. No more hassles. No more squirting. No more mess. Just lift up your skirt or pull down your jeans (and panties) and wala! Take a piss.

Hmm, one problem though. I do not know where one can purchase one of these useful apparatus - yet. Attempt a google search, p'haps?



Current emotion: *yawn*
Random observation: Downloading some 260MB file for the past 4 hours. 2 more hours to go and it's raining at last. Yay!



14 flowers for this post
Hey.. Princess,
You wouldn't believe it.. i was just talking to one of my workers about peeing in the bottle.. hahhaaha!! and there i go clicking on your blog.. and ta-da..!! guess what i found..!! hahahhahaha!!
And she didn't believe that i just chance upon it.. and thought i google it..!!
Big Bok | Homepage | 08.09.05 - 5:28 am | #

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I'll get one for you if you like, PrincEss. What size would you take?
Friend For Life | 08.09.05 - 4:30 pm | #

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why not fold a cardboard funnel instead? Discardable. Cheap. And you save all the hassle to clean up the funnel.
michaelooi | Homepage | 09.09.05 - 10:57 pm | #

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make sure it is effective and no spraying all over the floor.
Patrick Leong | Homepage | 10.09.05 - 1:35 pm | #

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Hi MamaBok, err, pee into bottle? Can meh? Can aim meh, without, uhmm, "equipment"? Hehe.

Hi FFL. Really? You know where to get it? Pray, share it with all of us!

Oh ya hor michael. Can also hor. But if bladder too full, pee haven't finish but cardboard all soaked then how? Very the messy oh!

Hehe Patrick. Referring to the plastic funnel or some cardboard ones? Must practice lor. Makes perfect ma. :D
Primrose | Homepage | 11.09.05 - 1:26 pm | #

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Hey, my daughter and I were shopping at Watsons in The Curve and we saw this. My girl was rolling about in laughter when I told her what it was for!
bkworm | Homepage | 12.09.05 - 10:47 am | #

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Hey bkworm. Really? It's sold here in Malaysia? Eh! Must go check out Watsons then. *LOL*
Primrose | Homepage | 13.09.05 - 3:59 pm | #

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Geee... I did this standing position too when I was 5. It was weird... I would say.

Ha!! I wonder who was the designer of the "her urinal". Guy? Lady?
fish fish | Homepage | 14.09.05 - 12:14 am | #

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Hey fish fish, long time no see wor. Her urinal could be by a guy OR a lady. A GUY would have invented it so that ladies will stop putting the toilet seat down. A LADY would have invented it so that they can pee like men do. Haha!
Primrose | Homepage | 14.09.05 - 1:28 pm | #

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You can just use a cigarette box turned inside out as a funnel, works well..

Apparently!
ShaolinTiger | Homepage | 14.09.05 - 6:28 pm | #

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There is, of course, always the other alternative. You know... the, err.... surgical option.
Friend For Life | 14.09.05 - 7:18 pm | #

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Hi ShaolinTiger. Thanks for coming by. Ala, I tried turning a ciggie box inside out today but doesn't work geh? It tore! Haha! By the way *nudge nudge* Great debate! *winks*

Thanks but no thanks, FFL. I kinda like my little, err, pussy ninny. :LOL:
Primrose | Homepage | 15.09.05 - 8:43 pm | #

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No need to thank me, PrincEss. I wasn't offering to be the organ donor!
Friend For Life | 15.09.05 - 10:44 pm | #

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eewww... i can't imagine holding something up while i pee.... ew...
emily | Homepage | 04.10.05 - 1:57 am | #

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