Thursday, September 15, 2005

Little poopsies

Eat raw almonds. Rub the small of your back. Eat prunes. Drink prune juice. Take psyllium husk. Take honey on an empty stomach. Massage the lower part of your tummy. Take vitamin C solubles. Rub raw aloe vera to the anus. Regularly take milk. Echoes in my head scream: Eat more fibre! Eat more fruits! Eat more vegetables! Eat more food! Drink more water! Sit in the toilet at the same time everyday to tune those intestines. Try reading while in the toilet. Psychologically imagine the poo moving downwards.

Yeah yeah yeah! Been there, done that, screw it, no go.

"Here. Pump it in," mum said one morning, pushing a smaller-than-palm sized, soft-feeling, bluish little teardrop-shaped thingy, filled with liquid with a narrow, jet-like nozzle into my hands.

And you know what? It works everytime.

Little poo pee
Has(n't) lost her sh(eep)it
And doesn't know what to do
Leave them alone
And constipation, behold!
Causing enema pump behind her...

[Chants to 'Little Bo Peep' nursery rhyme]

12 flowers for this post
Now now, I see this rejuvenated gardner is planting some blue-sy bulbous looking seed, but I don't think it's gonna give rise to blooms.

Keep that thingy outa reach of the youngones, OK, otherwise, I think some may just use as as a "water gun", yeah, that's fun, like we used to do in std 1.

Welcome back from the hot sun, I prayed for rain, it did, in Seremban! And the Lake Gardens here were in shining reds, yellows and blues.
ylchong | Homepage | 16.09.05 - 12:44 am | #


Ooooooooooooooooo .. K..
Big BoK | Homepage | 16.09.05 - 5:41 am | #


Got you prune juice yesterday.
chiki | 16.09.05 - 8:54 am | #


i heard eating soaps will loose your bowel a bit worrr... not sure how true is that ...
michaelooi | Homepage | 16.09.05 - 11:14 am | #


Tried yoghurt?
bkworm | Homepage | 16.09.05 - 11:30 am | #


Hi Desi. No need Std 1 also can play. This water spurt will produce little droplets. Very effective! Heh, heh!

MamaBok, did you have to give BabyBok this?

Thanks chiki. Will only use it in "emergencies". Hiaks.

Oi michael, lu siau ah? Cheh! I also heard that after eating soap, you'll hic bubbles too. *hic hic* Hei, fun worrr...

Hi bkworm. Tried plain yogurt, commercial yogurt, indian yogurt, homemade yogurt, honey and treacle... *shakes head* No go. 'Sides, I get sick of yogurt after a while.
Primrose | Homepage | 16.09.05 - 5:48 pm | #


Nope.. the brat never had a problem before.. heheh!!
Big BoK | Homepage | 16.09.05 - 7:51 pm | #


Never, ever, ever eat raw almonds. Almonds need alkaline soaking (a form of "cooking") before they are safe for human consumption. Raw almonds, straight off the tree, can kill. If you eat them in large quantity, they *will* kill. They are a very potent source of cyanide. (The alkaline soaking leaches out the cyanide. All packet almonds are appropriately processed before put on shop shelves, thankfully.)

If constipation is a chronic or regular problem, an enema will not solve it. It will give immediate relief, but not solve the cause. By all means use it for 'emergencies', but look to lasting solutions, such as a combination of the following:

a) Regular exercise, such as long daily walks or jogs. Nothing keeps your bowels in regular motion as effectively as keeping your entire body in regular motion. Buy yourself a pedometer for motivation, and walk at least 10,000 steps every day.

b) Avoid starchy foods. No doubt you remember your primary school craft classes about how to produce home-made glue. Combine flour & water. Now, think what that glue ball is doing inside of you every time you eat bread, rice, pasta and other starches. It will clog you up and promote constipation problems.

c) Yoghurt may be good for normal nutritional levels of 'good' bacteria (such as acidophilus and others), but is *not* strong enough for 'therapeutic' purposes. Take a daily pro-biotic supplement. One of those is equivalent in 'good' bacteria to around twenty tubs of yoghurt... (Some, not all, constipation, diarrhea and other bowel problems are caused by an excess of 'bad' bacteria in the gut, hence the need to enhance the balance of the 'good' bacteria.)

d) Avoid sugars and yeast. These promote the growth of the 'bad' (nitrogenic) bacteria in your gut, leading to irregularity or even worse bowel disorders.

If you follow these four simple points for a month and still find that you regularly need to use an enema, see your doctor and ask for a referal for a colonoscopy. You may very well have hemorrhoids, polyps, Celiac disease, Chrohn's disease, intestinal lymphoma or stomch/bowel/colon/rectal cancer.

If you encounter blood on discharge, don't even wait a month. See your doctor immediately.
Friend For Life | 18.09.05 - 4:32 pm | #


Thanks FFL... It's unroasted almonds. Not raw. Phew! But yes, agree to all points.
Primrose | Homepage | 19.09.05 - 2:51 am | #


I hope you warm up the enema (in a bowl of warm water) before you use it...
Yuen Li | Homepage | 20.09.05 - 8:20 am | #


Eh, Yuen Li, does it make a difference? Whatever for??
Primrose | Homepage | 21.09.05 - 12:29 am | #


Sorry, I keep thinking in UK mode. Here, room temperature would be 15-20C and a cool/cold room might be 10-15C, whereas room temperature in Malaysia is more like 25C. Imagine squirting cold liquid up your behind!
Yuen Li | Homepage | 23.09.05 - 8:06 am | #


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