Monday, January 10, 2005

Are you a caveman?

Ed sent me the following article from The Electric New Paper which very much reflects our hip and very digital lifestyles.

I have a blog. Doesn't everyone? You mean you don't? How uncool are you?

According to Merriam-Webster, 'blog' was the word of the year last year. Not having your own blog is like not having your own Gmail account.

What? You don't have Gmail either? My God, what are you? A caveman!

No problem. I'll send you an invite. You do have an Internet account, right? That's a relief. What's your broadband speed? 1.5 meg? Cable? Huh? You're using dial-up? You mean, you still have a land line? How retro.

Wait. You're still using wires? The horror. But you have a handphone, right? Good, take my picture.

Huh? You can't take pictures with your phone. Then what's the point of having a phone?

You mean you actually use a camera to take pictures? What a concept.

Cheeeeeese! Snap! Let me see the picture. Where's the little LCD screen on the camera? What do you mean I have to wait for the photos to be developed? Film? Your camera uses film? I weep for you.

Next thing you'll be telling me is you listen to CDs, ha ha ha... oh. I see. You mean you actually buy whole albums? I have two words for you: iPod and download. No filler, all killer.

What's this? A video cassette recorder? You should donate it to a museum, Grandpa, along with your eight-track cartridges and vinyl records. Tape is so last millennium.

Is that a DVD recorder? Oh, it's just a player. What movies do you have? Please, no LDs or - heaven forbid - VCDs. You got The Lord of the Rings DVD? Cool.

Wait. This is the theatrical cut! You didn't get the special extended edition? What the hell is wrong with you? Never mind. At least you have the wide-screen version. So you're not a complete loser. Where's the surround sound? Oh, I see.

Your 'entertainment centre' has only two speakers. It's okay, I'm just grateful that it's not mono.

Hmmm, there's something not right about your TV, apart from the microscopic 36-inch curved screen. I think it's the cathode-ray tube. No, the cathode ray tube is working fine.

The problem is your TV actually has a cathode ray tube. I have one word and three letters for you: Plasma and LCD. And if you say 'projection TV', I'll beat you to death with my Nintendo DS.

Speaking of trilogies, did you see the trailer for Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith? No, not in the cinema. On the web. I'll show you. Where's your computer? Ah, that pesky cathode ray tube again. Three words: Flat panel monitor. Ah, your mouse and keyboard - more wires. Wireless doesn't just refer to radio any more, you know. Get into the 21st century, man.

My ears! My ears! What's that awful screeching noise? The modem? Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're using dial-up.

How do you live like this? Like an animal?

Okay, I found the site. I'm downloading the Star Wars trailer for you now. Judging by the bit rate, I'd say this will take roughly 4,000 years.

Forget it, I'll Gmail you the file. By the way, did I mention I have a blog?

Current emotions: Feeling chatty!
Random observation: I've got 20 gmail invites now. What do I do with them?
Currently reading: The Reader's Digest January 2005 issue

2 flowers for this post
G'day PrincEss PrimrosE,

I haven't heard from you for a week or so, though I see you're still blogging so I know you're still there and ok.

Maybe I'm just in your 'bad books' at the moment.

Anyway, this caveman who has:
* No personal blog
* No broadband
* Still on dial-up
* No handphone
* No digital camera
* No LCD screen on my disposable film cameras
* Still listens to CDs and cassettes
* No iPod
* Still uses a VCR
* No DVD player or recorder
(ok - there's a DVD player in my PC)
* Hasn't watch Lord of the Rings
* No surround sound
* Still uses CRT in the TV
* No plasma or LCD
* No Nintendo (or X-Box or Playstation)
* Still uses CRT monitor for my computer

* But, thanks to a certain PrincEss I know, I *DO* have a Gmail account!

.... just wants to say hi and let you know he's thinking about you.
All good & kind thoughts, too.

Your mate always,
Friend For Life
Friend For Life | 11.01.05 - 10:08 am


Heheheheh!!! wat a clever observation..!!
Electric new paper..??!!?? isn't it the one from singapore..?? i think so..
and i can't remember who i hear about the blog from..*sigh*.. getting old..perhaps..???!!?? Nope.. i don't have Gmail.. my spouse said.. we have enough.. on our server.. so no need for that.. And yes.. we are on high-speed.. can't stand dial up.. :P
And we just got our camera phone during New year.
We download all our music.. but no iPod .. sorry .. too el cheapo.. hehe!!
And yes.. i still use my VCR .. :P
And no .. no vcd here.. only DVD .. and they are cheap.. And yes.. got all sorta surround sound.. compliments of my spouse..
Yes.. got cathhode lights in my puter.. And yes.. watch all my favourite movies downloaded and tranferred to my xbox.. and watched them on my 52" TV..
So.. i'm not so ulu afterall.. heheh!!
Caveman.. i am not..!
MrsT | 11.01.05 - 5:53 am


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